Spare the Man: Stop Complaining

NT NETWORK
Posted on 2009-01-08
Women have always cried hoarse over inequality between the genders and how men can be such jerks. They lament, “Men are such mamas’ boys.” Yet, they jeer, “A son is a son till he finds himself a wife, but a daughter is one forever.” Hey, give the men a break! How can you expect him to cut all ties with his mom and yet be a good son? Or when he’s being a good son, you scream, “Mama’s boy!”
Still others scream, “They are heartless. How can we expect them to marry wisely at 20, when the woman they are going to want is not even born?” Others quip, “Show me men, and I think I like dogs better.”
Or still others, “They are such hypocrites. Outside they are like roses, but we have to constantly watch out for the pricks.”
So, it was absolutely interesting to get chatting with some of Goa’s men in top positions. They wanted to remain anonymous, but no complaints as that ensured in getting them to open up freely and made this story hilarious.
A Goan husband retorts, “For complaining about us wanting women 20 years younger, why don’t women understand, in doing so, he is isn’t seeking her youth but his own?” Ladies, hope you got the message? You grew up too fast, remain little girls at heart and stop nagging like mamas.
While an acquaintance quipped, “How dare these men think they can talk dirty to us just because we get friendly with them?” According to the lady, it amounted to sexual harassment. Yet, a gentleman quipped, “Oh yes, sexual harassment! But, when we don’t talk dirty, they laugh behind our backs calling us sissy, and wonder what is wrong with us.”
Another common complaint from women, “He is so heartless. How can he not get emotional? Why does everything revolve around physicality?
Here women need to remember what Francesca Cancian had said, “Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men’s behaviour is measured with a feminine ruler.”
As a husband wittily says, “I always tell my wife, “Arre! Don’t nag ‘yaar’. I am not like you. We are made differently. Cant’ you see that?”
Women accuse men of being bullies. Yet, it is surprising to see who actually gets victimised. Women constantly manipulate men emotionally. She just has to shed those diamonds and he becomes a puppet in her hands. Friendships, family, work, just about anything is instantly forgotten; he can see no reason, till he gets that bawling wife to stop.
Another unreasonable complaint against the male species, “I am an independent working woman. Why does he take it for granted that I will allow him to pick up the check always?”
Yet, when the men concede, the women crib amongst friends, “Why can’t he understand I’m strong and independent, but I need to be treated like a lady?”
Then the torso factor – the women openly look down on hairy men and go overtly gaga over a John Abraham’s waxed chest. Yet, on the sly, they confide in friends about the one they admire, “Oooh! The hair on his chest is so sexy!” Now, won’t the poor man be confused?
Getting to some real hilarious stuff, the wives boast with their acquaintances and friends, “I cannot understand how he wants me first thing in the morning when I look my worst.”
But the Goan husbands laugh behind their backs saying, “It’s because in the mornings we can’t see our wives. We just can’t help it, as we have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve when we wake up.”
Wives also indulge in banter amongst themselves thinking they are clever as they say, “Every time, I simply fake reaching the pinnacle of passion and my dumb husband doesn’t even know it.”
Sneak this to the hubbies and they happily guffaw saying, “But, we can fake whole relationships.”
What really, really is astounding is when a Goan husband says, “Even with relationships, a man will keep his marriage intact and also keep his relationship with his lover burning passionately.”
Remind him that this is cheating and feigning innocence, he replies, “When women have extra marital relationships, marriages break up or they live in dead marriages. But, you see, we men are good human beings. We keep both women happy.” Wow! It couldn’t get any better than that, relegating one to lots of laughter.
Let’s face it ladies, even we, fiercely independent and strong women as we call ourselves, need them in our lives. If for nothing else, then just to laugh our guts out and who else can make us feel ‘oh so wanted!’
An elderly Goan considering himself extremely wise is keen to give some important advice to his younger contemporaries as he dramatically repeats what Ninon de Lenclos had said, “Men lose more conquests by their own awkwardness than by any virtue in the woman. So, just be a man! - CV